I have Live Writer! Yay! It went AWOL. I couldn’t post on the blog until it was re-installed. But due to running my photography business (www.bryonyclairephotography.co.uk) and the hectic few weeks approaching Christmas, I’ve only just had chance to establish just where it went, so again, apologies for the time its taken to write again.

Diving straight back into it…

My youngest daughter has been a little slower on the uptake with her speech. She has good understanding in context, she has words and sentences but they are not completely understandable even to the hearing ear, let alone my own. I have to say, I’ve been really sad about it. I was incredibly fortunate to have such a young and clear speaker with my older daughter, I could understand her right from the beginning with her early, clear speech. The terrible twos as a result weren’t quite as bad as normal. But with the Small One, it’s much harder to decipher what she’s trying to say, and the frustration is clear on both sides. She can sign, but she’s going through a phase of not wanting to. The Big One was the same, I just need to persevere with that.

I desperately want to understand my own daughter. She’s the funniest and most adorable little thing, her sign name is actually the sign for laugh, as she is so hilariously cheeky and funny sometimes. She’s obviously trying to tell me something but I can’t understand what. She also chatters away to herself when she’s playing and often, my husband or my Mum will tell me what she’s said, but I want to hear it for myself, or lip-read it for myself. I know it’ll come, I’m just not a very good waiter.

Today she started to tell me something but as I was making lunch, didn’t pay as much attention as normal. Until I realised she was being quite pressing about it. “Mummy, Pone! Mummy, Pone!” she kept repeating. It clicked after she’d said it a few times, she was telling me the phone was ringing. I went over to the phone and indeed it was, the light was flashing. I didn’t answer it, as we only have a phone line as it came with our internet package, we don’t use it to make or receive calls so the only calls we get are those of the chilly temperature. And all of a sudden, I choked a sob.

She’s not even 2 yet, all of three weeks and she’s already started to be my ears. The Big One, perhaps became my ears earlier than this, but she’s always seemed much older than her years so it sort of became more acceptable to me. For my youngest daughter, the baby, to all of a sudden “get” that she needs to tell me the phone is ringing, the gravity of the responsibility I place on my two children by default hit me somewhat.

They are very precious, my children. I’m incredibly lucky to have them, and that they are happy and healthy. But I do struggle with this “responsibility” that they have been armed with, through no fault of their own. I do worry that throughout childhood, they will see it as a chore. Them telling me the phone is ringing, or there’s someone at the door is quite cute at the moment, but in time, it’ll turn to what the shop assistant said, or what that tannoy said, or even, what I absolutely dread happening, that need to call 999.

The idea of my children ringing 999 on my behalf absolutely terrifies me more than the the idea of why I’d need to ring 999 in the first place. If there was an emergency and it was just me at home with them, I have often thought about what I’d need to do. What if I couldn’t leave the situation to go and knock on my neighbour’s door? What if I couldn’t absolutely guarantee that someone would pick up a text immediately? At the age that they are now, I think I’d risk calling them myself, I’d just repeat down the phone on a loop that I am deaf but this is what I need, this is why and my address in the hope that the message would get through. But there will be a time, perhaps even in only a year or so time seeing as my Big One is approaching five, that asking her to telephone for me would be the most reliable form of getting help. The responsibility of this, just doesn’t seem right for her to shoulder.

There are various text message services these days, but none are particularly well advertised, the campaigns I hear of, are always temporary trials, or trying to get the idea recognised. The numbers to text are different depending on where in the UK you are. I couldn’t rely on a text message, I would need to make a phone call.

How my little one telling me the phone was ringing, led the thought process right the way through to a hypothetical situation of needing to call 999 I don’t know, my mind works like that, always thinking about what I’d have to do, seemingly needing to be prepared somewhat. That’s mother’s nature I imagine. Only I have to think about the extra bit too.

I hope you had a great Christmas and New Year. I’m quite happy to be back on blogsphere. I am still writing for the Hearing Times which is an excellent resource of current news, affairs and stories for all Deaf and Hard of Hearing people and enjoying seeing my words in print!

If you have any questions about anything I have said over the last year or so, then please don’t hesitate to contact me by commenting on the blog, or you can e mail me at byps81@gmail.com. If you are interested in any of my Photography services, then there’s a separate e mail address for that at info@bryonyclairephotography.co.uk.

In the meantime, see you soon xx