Well, tomorrow I’m all set to be switched on for the first time!

I am a mixture of:

  • Nervous
  • Excited
  • Unfazed
  • Apprehensive
  • Giddy
  • Impatient
  • Scared

All normal, I understand.

I have had the most fantastic support from friends and family, all wishing me good luck and I cannot thank everybody enough.

I promise to let you know how it goes. You’ll probably need to get the kettle on and open the chocolate digestives in advance of opening the blog knowing me :-)

Anyway, I got everything ready this evening. Box unpacked, batteries charging. This is currently what my bedside table looks like!

 

Note the light on the wall? That’s my smoke alarm. Note the pad on top of the book? That’s my alarm clock vibrating pad. Note the E45? I’m using that to help my scar heal. Note the processor? And the batteries charging? Sorting them each night will from tomorrow be part of my bedtime routine! Eeek!

Before I go, I just wanted to talk a little about what I’m most nervous about. I am very very sure that in time I will learn well, and use the CI fantastically. I have faith in myself that I can do it, and with the staff at HARC that they will treat me well and the tuning in of the CI will suit my needs and of course with my friends and family to support me over the coming months.

You may remember a previous blog post called "Music to my ears", where I explained about music and how music has always been very important to me. I am particularly nervous that music is not going to sound the same to me with the CI and I am worried that due to my profound love for it – I won’t recognise the tunes and melodies (of what I can hear with my hearing aid) to be the same ever again. I was in the car the other day, listening to the soundtrack of “Joseph and his Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat” (yes I know, I know, but I’m a huge fan of musicals) and I realised while singing absent mindedly along that when I was younger, and saw the show aged just 10 when Jason Donovan was in the lead role I learnt by heart, the words to pretty much the entire musical. I went to see the show again a couple of years ago with a friend, and absolutely loved it yet again. The acoustics weren’t brilliant for my little hearing aid, but as I remembered so many of the words, the show itself was entertainment galore!

Anyway, back to the point I’m trying to make. The prologue song to the show, sang by the narrator…

(as seen here in the movie version just in case you’re wondering what on earth I’m on about:)

… is probably the only song in the entire world that I know absolutely every single word to (nursery rhymes aside as that goes without saying!). Sure there are songs and tunes that I know most of the words to, but this one I could sing confidently (albeit out of tune!) all the way through. It’s only a minute and a half long, so not exactly hard to do, but for me, it’s quite a biggie. Anyway, I love the tune, it’s easy to listen to, the lyrics are easy to follow (if you have the words memorised already) and I think due to the above reasons and my comfortability (for lack of a better word) with the track I’m going to use it in a little experiment of my own. I plan to listen to this track with my hearing aid, and then straight away afterwards with my CI once it has first been switched on, and then track my progress in how I hear it. I’ll let you know how this little experiment goes – if you’re still interested after me revealing this – I do understand it may have affected my rep! :-D

Anyway. Back to what I’m nervous about. I think what I’m most nervous about however, is how my daughter will sound to me. Her voice is so precious and special to me that I am not sure how I’m going to react when I hear her for the first time with my CI. I’m sure that the whole experience is going to be quite emotional, and as my daughters are the most important things to me in the whole world – I am partly doing this whole CI process for them – I think perhaps it’s inevitable, that if one of the things I really treasure, is the sound of my daughter’s voice – isn’t going to be how I recognise it. I have been warned that I may hate what everything sounds like at first – so I hope that I can be realistic and not let it affect me. I have faith that over time, I will recognise the sound of my daughter’s voice again, to a point where I’ve re-learnt what it sounds like, and I’m sure it’ll be in the top position once again of the best things to hear. I’m just rather nervous about the way up to that point. Does that make sense?

Sorry for being fluffy tonight. Tomorrow I will reveal the nitty gritty!

See you then :-D